Frying Kentucky

Josh Bolus is one of my best friends in the world. He is also a dirty, lowlife, ne’er-do-well, good-for-nothing rascal and villainous University of Kentucky fan. So I forgive him for his ignorance when he writes things like Kentucky Fried Cardinal. Even though I can forgive him, I can’t let him get away with it.

 ATTENTION ALL UK FANS – - SATURDAY IS DECEMBER 29, 2012

 Stop living in the past. I have news for you: John Wall and Anthony Davis are not playing in this game. Saturday, you guys are bringing in Flattop Nerlens. He’ll be a top five draft pick and have a career in the NBA just like Daniel Orton. His post moves are weak at best, nonexistent most nights. Cauley-Stein is better, but he didn’t have the hype machine behind him preseason and UK fans have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong. Nerlens has nothing on Dieng, and Gorgui recovered just in time to prove it. Get a haircut Nerlens… and work on an Up-and-Under

Let’s talk about UK’s past. “Rupp was usually a charming p.r. rogue, brimming with diplomacy and psychology, regrettably, his politics leaned more toward the KKK.” – Curry Kirkpatrick in Sports Illustrated, April 1st, 1990. If you want to bring up your past, there it is. UK fans like to forget about their segregated history, but as long as we they want to bring up the past, we can too.

While we are talking about the past, how about we mention the fact that UK has been sanctioned in every decade since the 40’s except for the 2000s, the one decade that they couldn’t put a decent product on the floor.

 “They [Arkansas] were coached, ironically, by Eddie Sutton, who would become Kentucky’s coach seven years later and eventually resign after getting caught up in the swirling scandal that was bound to catch up with Kentucky’s program sooner or later.” – John Feinstein, Forever’s Team, Villard Books, 1990, pg. 154.

I love this Feinstein quote because anybody watching UK now has the same feeling.

A Lesson in Coaching

Louisville has the better coach. Josh, you may not want to admit it, but you know it. Calipari (and World Wide Wes) is a great recruiter (he can wave that fat blue wallet around without anyone finding out). There isn’t a college basketball coach who couldn’t have taken Anthony Davis to the National Championship. What did Calipari do for John Wall, make him a mediocre turnover machine in the NBA? What did Calipari do for Terrence Jones, make him a D-League baller? What did Calipari do for DeMarcus Cousins? What could anyone have done for Daniel Orton? Probably nothing. Coaching is when you make someone better at something. An example of this would be making a 3-star player into a pontential player of the year. This is what Pitino has done with Russ Smith. You will learn all about it this Saturday.

A Lesson in Conference Talk

Just don’t bring up Conferences anymore. It’s come to the point that UK fans are red with jealousy over this topic. Josh, you want to say that we are in a dying conference? We are in a dying conference for the rest of this year, We KILLED It! We dominated the Big East throughout the years that it was the toughest basketball conference ever. Now we are moving to the ACC which has become an even tougher basketball conference.

UK has been in the SEC for 80 years. I guess you are proud of your conference’s football dominance? It has nothing to do with UK. Meanwhile, you guys scrimmage your way through what the SEC basketball conference has sadly become, and then brag about it. Sorry, but we aren’t hearing it, Ballard could beat Alabama.

Kentucky Fried – December 29, 2012

Expect to see that headline on Sunday Josh, and while you’re at it (for one day out of the year) forget that you know me.